A narcissist, however, puts their wants and emotions ahead of others. Mothers are supposed to be nurturing and attuned to a child’s needs. If you do it enough, it'll become a habit, and before you know it, you'll have things to do whenever you want.What Are the Signs of a Narcissistic Mother?Ī narcissistic mother can be one of the most damaging relationships a child can ever have. Because guess what? Most people are legitimately psyched to have a cool activity presented to them - you're literally doing them a favor! -and the more times you experience a positive reaction, the easier it gets to do it again. To be perfectly honest, I've established more of a truce with the demons than an actual victory, but I've learned that when you stare a demon in the eye and act like it doesn't exist, it whimpers and puts its tail between its legs. I've dealt with anxiety for most of my life, and for a long time, I let the triplet demons of "What if they say no?" "What if they say yes but don't really want to hang out with me?" and "What if the thing we do sucks and it'll be my fault because I suggested it?" win. It's so basic that in retrospect, it sounds ridiculous that it was a lightbulb moment, but I discovered pretty quickly that my mom was right. After too many weeks of this, I decided to act on my mom's long-standing advice that the phone works both ways, and I started just texting people when I wanted to try out a cool new cocktail bar or something. I used to wait for other people to reach out to me, and would inevitably feel sad and alone when I had nothing to do on a Friday night, especially when I'd just graduated from college and was living in New York City with a long list of things I wanted to do. Listen, I get it: This is a very big and scary step if this isn't something you already do. Take the reins and be the one to reach out and suggest a plan.
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